Farmshed CNY

Debra Whiting, Executive Chef and co-owner with her husband, David Whiting, of Red Newt Cellars & Bistro in Hector, NY, died Thursday, June 30th, as the result of a car accident on the New York State Thruway. David, who was also injured in the accident, was taken to SUNY Upstate University Hospital in Syracuse. When I tried to visit him yesterday afternoon, I was told he had been released.

Those are the all details I have. More information will undoubtedly emerge in the next few days, but for me it is beside the point. The only fact that matters is that Debra Whiting is gone, taken much too soon from her family and friends. Simply put, life in the Finger Lakes without Debra Whiting seems unthinkable, and the loss to the Finger Lakes food and wine community, of which she was a central presence, immeasurable.

Debra and David were quick to extend their friendship to me when we first met, and were among the earliest and most generous supporters of Farmshed. Their forthrightness, good humor and lack of pretense made them immediately likable, and I looked forward to every opportunity to spend time with them and to collaborate on local food projects.

One of my fondest memories of Debra is of the 2010 Taste Camp wine dinner she and David hosted for participating bloggers and winemakers. Over a long weekend in which a group of wine geeks were feted like royalty, something few if any of us were used to, the lavish dinner that Debra and David threw for us nevertheless stood out as an extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime event: a long, candle-lit table stretched out across the floor of the Red Newt tasting room; top Finger Lakes winemakers like Johannes Reinhardt and Peter Becraft of Anthony Road Winery and Tricia Renshaw of Fox Run sat interspersed among the motley crew of wine writers; and good food, wine and conversation flowed for hours. To top it all off, when the dinner was over Debra and David sent each of us home with a gift box of their best wines.

The entire evening bore witness to Debra and David’s graciousness and generosity, and yet I am sure for them both that it was a simple decision made without regard to cost: here was an opportunity to share their food and wine with passionate oenophiles, to form new and lasting friendships, and most importantly, to showcase what makes life in the Finger Lakes so uniquely and extraordinarily pleasurable.

That generosity carried over to the Whiting’s support for Farmshed. They understood immediately what Farmshed was about, that it could do good work in the region by connecting producers and consumers of locally grown foods, and they became one of our earliest and most enthusiastic supporters. Last fall, when we hosted the first Farmshed harvest dinner at Creekside Meadows Farm in Tully (now in Nelson), they donated several cases of wines to pair with the menu in exchange for two seats at the table, and the evening was enlivened by their wines and their casual, affable conversation.

More recently, I met with Debra and David over lunch at Red Newt Bistro – always a pleasure in-and-of itself – to discuss hosting a farmers’ market at the winery in late August, to be followed by a benefit dinner for the Food Bank of the Southern Tier, a non-profit organization they supported. What struck me once again was how unconcerned they were with the cost of hosting this event. Most of us, I believe, recognize that there is more to life than rational calculation and self-interest, no matter what classical economists and ideologues would have us believe, or how difficult this is to put into everyday practice. Yet for Debra and David, recognition of this “something more” always seemed innate and effortless. Through their hard work, business savvy, and high standards of excellence they became two of the top restaurateurs and winemakers in the Finger Lakes, and on some level, I believe they felt that with success came attendant responsibilities. Yet deep down, I believe, their generosity originated in the fact that they were and are genuinely good people who lived by a simple moral code, and for whom doing good work in their community came as naturally as drawing a breath.

It is this simple, unaffected goodness, rather than their considerable success and achievement, I think, that leaves us all shocked over Debra’s death and David’s injury, and searching for answers. Nothing cosmic or karmic can explain this accident; no reference to god’s inscrutability and omnipotence will provide a satisfactory rationalization. Only a viciously meaningless, random universe seems capable of explaining this loss, which makes Debra and David’s contributions to the Finger Lakes community all the more precious and meaningful.

I am still somewhat in a state of denial over all this, and yet I know that the grieving process will unfold according to its own inexorable logic, and that in time I will accept the painful truth that Debra is truly and irrevocably gone. So while my prayers go out to Debra and to the entire Whiting and Red Newt families, my thoughts at this moment turn primarily to her husband and life partner, and to my friend, David Whiting.

David, I pray you know that you and Debra are deeply loved by your friends and family, and that our arms are strong enough to lift you up and comfort you. I pray that the light does not go out of your world as a result of this grievous, inexplicable, unimaginable accident, and that you find peace, solace and renewal amongst the vines when you return to work. But most of all, and regardless of how impossible it may sound, I pray that joy returns to you and your family much sooner than seems humanly possible.